18 again

I’m feeling a little sad today.  I reached out to a girl who I met when I interviewed at Duke.  She was admitted first and I was wait listed.  I learned today she declined her acceptance which likely lead to my offer.  I’m sure I took her spot.  She has a similar profile to me (demographically, socioeconomic, woman, person of color, non traditional background, etc.)  It made me sad to learn she would not be my classmate, nor would she be attending nursing school this fall as she only applied to one school.

I am thankful that I applied to multiple schools and had choices.  She declined because she said the cost of tuition was too expensive for her.  Where as, I decided, even confidently that this is the place I want to be.  The loans, I can figure it out.  There are loan reimbursement programs, and I will have more debt with round 2 of school when I continue on as a nurse practitioner.  And, it’s possible I will need a car by my second semester for clinical rotations.  Loans, it’s a little like monopoly money.  I questioned for a long time if my undergraduate degree was worth the cost as I am still not sure of it’s value.  I did not graduate making a great deal of money, nor did I have a skill set that was tangible, nor did I have direction.  I didn’t enjoy college the way many people enjoyed college.  I felt I was busy at protests or arguing about Ethnic Studies, or providing services to the under served.  I may have done just as well at a more affordable undergraduate school.

This next degree, is my do-over, although it is considered a graduate program, I am entering an Accelerated Bachelor of Science Nursing program.  I will finish in 16 months with a BSN and be a registered nurse.  I look forward to going back to school a second time, but with much more purpose and focus.  Not only knowing who I am but knowing what I want to do and be.  I am grateful for this opportunity to begin again.  Welcome to being 18 years old again.

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