I deleted over 100 people from my contacts, mostly because I can’t remember who they are, or if I do remember them, we’ve haven’t talked in a year. That’s my limit, if we haven’t talked in a year, even if we are friends, I delete you from my phone. I deleted people I sort of knew, if I saw you on the street, I wouldn’t be confident in knowing who you are. I deleted people I “see” online but don’t actually communicate with in real life. I’m in search of new friends.
I have friends, but apparently I have more things I like to do and not enough friends who can go because they too have busy lives. I have never been in a sorority. I did not grow up in a large family but I want a squad, like Taylor Swift. I want a group of like minded individuals who I can call up and say, I want to do this, want to join?
I tried this new app, called “Hey, Vina”. It’s like Tinder, but to find friends of the same gender and hobbies. You read the profile, swipe right if you want to be their friend and swipe left if you’re not interested. If the other person also swipes right, then you get connected through the messaging section of the app. I was connected with 2 women and reached out to them with suggested activities for this weekend. One girl replied and said she’s busy with family, but would like together another time. I sent her another suggestion for the following weekend. I think the reply was read, but no reply back.
Second girl, I sent her the same suggestions and she said she was busy this weekend too and suggested coffee or lunch during the week instead. Who has time for coffee? I didn’t say that to her, but she’s likely not going to be a good match for me. I go on coffee dates with long time friends who I haven’t seen in a years and we want to talk to catch up. Everyone else, I only have activities. I want to do stuff and you can talk on the way. I don’t want to go on a coffee date with someone I just met, that would be awkward and seriously, who has time for that? Unless she wants an espresso, standing up, I would be ok with that. I wrote back and told her I was at school during the day and straight to work, and only had flexibility on the weekends between more work and volunteer things. I countered with another activity and she has yet to reply.
I recognize I might be a difficult friend, or even a intense friend, but I’m sure there are people like me who fill every hour of their day. On Meetup.com, I found a meetup for women in the neighborhood and I posted two events, I’ll see if I get any takers. Either way, I’m off to do my own thing, but would prefer company.