Unable to study any further, I got up from my seat in class and said I don’t want to do this anymore. I have reached my saturation point. I was only two hours into lab but felt done. I might have been the first to leave class today. I started the chain reaction, others followed my departure. My instructor was ok with my statement, acknowledging it was fine to leave. I truly am trying to hold it together, 2 more weeks of class and 1 more week of finals. Then I can leave for vacation.
I biked home, ate a snack and started my holiday cards. Holiday cards are interesting to me. In years past I have alternated from donating to charity vs. sending notes. The act of writing to someone has taken on more meaning for me this year. Rather than buy a card, or send a automated response, I take time to handwrite my note, crafting a message, going to the post office to buy the stamp and licking the envelope. I bike to the mailbox and put the letter in the blue mail bin, pulling the handle, listening for the clunk sound, recognizing my letter has reached the bottom of the bin. Each physical act makes me think of the person receiving the card.
Do I care enough to want to be in touch with them? Do I have their current address? Have we spoken in the last year or lost touch? Or has this person fallen off the list and become someone I used to know? It is an interesting process, writing cards.