5:30 am every day

My alarm does not ring and I find myself waking up at 5:30 am everyday for the past week to study. My subconscious apparently thinks I want another hour of prep time before the sun rises. I pull back the curtains to reveal only darkness and the stillness of the night. I don’t know why I should be surprised that it is dark. I climb back in bed with my books close to me, trying to retain the warmth of the bed. I review until daylight and then ride to school.  
Anatomy exam on Friday went exceptionally well. Sat’s GRE went ok, score was average, which is good  enough for me. I submitted my graduate school application.  The next process would be an invitation to interview.  

Anatomy lab exam today was difficult. It was challenging to identify a muscle (3 questions in 1 minute) then the bell rings to move on. You either know the answer immediately or you don’t. Today, I felt some questions needed to be read twice and there was no time for that. The bell rang and you had to guess, not even an educated guess.

I am worried about tomorrow’s chem exam. I feel depleted, without enough energy and not enough studying for tomorrow. I feel awful that chemistry got the short end of the stick and I was not able to study with the effort that is needed for a good grade. How does anyone keep up with this pace?   Stress is sometimes a good motivator but I think my internal stress button is broken.  

Mid term grades are in and I presume I have B’s in both classes, but still chasing that A for the final grade.  Chasing, I might add, not for anyone but me.

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